I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
