I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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