It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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