if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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