she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
