Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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