Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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