Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
