Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
