He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
