are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
