I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
