I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
