i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
