When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
