which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
