It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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