im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
