this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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