i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm way too hungover for life right now
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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