Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
