I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
