you have to choose: penises or morals?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
