once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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