i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
