Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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