Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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