So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
