Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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