I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
