if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
handjob tips. give me some.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize