no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize