Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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