im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
