I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
