what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
