Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
