Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
