If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
