Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
