The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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