You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize