oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
