Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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