Old men and throwing up are my life now.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize