Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
