Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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