Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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