Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my shit smells like andre
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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