i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
