She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Less talking, more tequila
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
