when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
