My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
