new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
