i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
