People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
