Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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