2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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