dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
