FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
